ありがとう

arigatou. terima kasih. thank you.

i hope these words will reach you.

because i'm really bad at saying them out loud.

well. i might diligently write again. who knows.

...

to the ones who know me

if anything ever happen to me, 

please tell my mom, my family and my friends.

that I am so grateful for them in my life. 

they means the world to me, 

and they are too precious to the point i am not suited to be the one who was related to them.

and tell them I'm very sorry to become such a burden.

please ask them to forgive me.

Ya Allah.

please make them happy.

from the world to hereafter.

make way for them to your Jannah.

forgive them.

guide them all the way to You.

shower them with Your unending love.

and please have mercy on them.

I have been such a problematic person for them.

how pathetic.

Ya Allah, forgive me.


no no no. this is not a suicide note.

...

senyum

pahit mana pun, berat mana pun ujian yang menimpa.
tanam dalam hati. senyum. jangan lupa. senyum.

kerana ujian tu kadang-kadang menyedarkan kita yang leka.
yang terbabas ke sana ke mari.
yang masih kurang berusaha memperbaiki hubungan denganNya.
dan kerana ujian itu tanda Allah ingin kita senyum menghadapinya, senyum dengan penuh keyakinan bahawa Dia sentiasa bersama.
sentiasa.

senyumlah, dan bersabarlah.
pandang sekeliling, bandingkan.
pandang ke serata dunia, rasakan dalam hati.
tidaklah berat mana ujianmu, bukan?

senyumlah. Allah tahu.

well, at least you've learnt your lesson. peace no war.