assalamualaikum :)
have you guys ever feel that changing is hurting more than it seems?
"nak berubah bukan senang tau."
"yang kau pandai-pandai nak berubah konon ke arah kebaikan sangat ni kenapa? family kau biasa je pun."
"aku tunggu sampai aku dah betul-betul bersedia rasanya, baru aku akan berubah. kau tak pikir camtu ke?"
"kau ni dah kenapa? berubah ke bagai ni? aku tengok kau okey je selama ni? kira baik dah laaa tu"
"alah. biasalah tu. buat apa nak baik-baik sangat. biasa-biasa cukuplah."
so, yeahh. it has never been so easy, and it will never be =.="
sebab tu kita ni hidup kena bermatlamat. one of my high school seniors said, "
The ultimate goal in one's life will be and only be for mardhatillah. ya, keredhaan Allah. apa-apa perkara yang kita buat, kalau niatnya memang kerana nak mencari redha Allah, dengan cara yang betul, inshaAllah, Allah suka. Allah redha. "
when you have a goal, an ultimate goal to be precise, and you put all your might, all your efforts towards it, Allah will definitely help you. Allah sayang hambaNya, kan?
T__T
I used to be so ignorant. egoistic. nonsense. freakin' scary and was hard to get close with. I took things for granted. I always feel so right, and was hard to be corrected, to be advised.
I was. and I don't really realize that until on one very fine day, where Allah showed me how far I have been from the right track.
I failed my study. I ruined the friendships. I made them look at me with annoyed expressions. I hurt my mom, eventhough she doesn't show it, deep down I could see the disappointment. I couldn't face it right. everything was chaotic and miserable and unexpected.
and all I could ask myself is WHY.
and on that time. that very time. I realize what I've been missing all those years.
the goal. yeah, the ultimate goal of life. I was living a life without it! Ya Allahu Ya Kareem.
no wonder I've been so affected with what people think, more than what is right and what is wrong.
no wonder I don't feel happy with what I'm doing. and eventually I ruined it all.
no wonder it was so hard to accept the fact.
because I have no goal. no effort to please Allah. and what's worst, I even forget that Allah is always close to me. closer than my veins!
Allahu Akbar.
and that's when. I slowed my steps and stopped. right there, reflecting myself.
aku ni hamba Allah. bertuhankan Yang Satu, which is Allah. orang yang bertuhankan Allah, segala-galanya perlu dibuat kerana Allah. hidup mesti bermatlamatkan redha Allah.
tapi aku ni kat mana sekarang ni?
siapa aku? kenapa aku ada kat dunia ni? dan bukankah nanti kematian itu satu yang PASTI dialami semua makhluk? bagaimana pula kematian aku?
Allahu Allah.
and that was the turning point for me.
a major turning point.
and I'm still working on it. inshaAllah.
tentunya, perjalanan aku masih jauh. jauh gilaaaa. tapi aku masih tak nampak anything wrong with berubah untuk kebaikan. aku cuma tahu, ia kadang-kadang sukar because sometimes you're just not being in the rightful place that encourages something like this, but do have faith. Allah will help. definitely, surely and obviously. tak sakit rasanya kalau pengharapan kita hanya pada Allah kan?
jom, kita usaha.
Allah is closer than our veins kan? ask anything from Him, He will be sure to grant you IF it's the best for you. and if He doesn't grant you with what you've always wanted, He is preparing something BETTER for you.
that applies to all of us and should be more than enough. and it worths more than you'll ever know.
and Ya Allah. thanks, alhamdulillah. for saving me from that 'worldly hell'.
:) :
post ini post serius. tapi hakikatnya saya bukanlah sama sekali orang yang serius macam batu. on top of that, what's crucial, remains crucial and should be the priorities. fullstop.
